Couples
Couples Therapy
Most couples who come to therapy are not fighting about the dishes. They are fighting about what the dishes have come to mean — whether I matter to you, whether you see how much I am doing, whether we are still on the same side. Couples therapy is a place to slow that down, hear the thing underneath the argument, and learn to reach each other without the escalation.
For two people stuck in a conversation they keep having — slowing the cycle down enough to understand it, and building a better way through.
15 minutes, free, no obligation. Scheduling via Headway.
- Format
- Telehealth
- Available in
- New York State
- Languages
- English & Spanish
- Telehealth throughout New York State
- Therapy in English & Spanish
- Sessions 45–60 minutes
You may be here because
Some of this may sound familiar.
You have the same argument in different clothing, over and over.
One of you pursues and the other withdraws, and both of you feel unheard.
You have become efficient co-managers of a household and lost the rest.
Something happened and you are not sure how to move past it.
You are navigating different cultural or family expectations about what a partnership should be.
You are trying to decide whether to rebuild or to end it well.
Who this may help, and what therapy may explore
Who this may help
- Partners of any gender, orientation, or relationship structure
- Couples in conflict, disconnection, or an extended rough patch
- Bilingual and bicultural couples negotiating differing family expectations
- Partners navigating a major transition — a move, a baby, illness, career change
- Couples recovering from a breach of trust
- Partners considering separation who want to make that decision thoughtfully
What therapy may explore
- The recurring cycle — what triggers it, what each of you does, how it ends
- What each partner is protecting when the conversation goes wrong
- Communication skills that hold up under pressure, not only when calm
- Repair after conflict, which matters more than never having conflict
- Differing expectations about family, money, roles, culture and faith
- Intimacy, closeness, and the drift that happens without anyone deciding on it
- Where each partner’s history is showing up in the present relationship
Karla’s approach
How I work with couples
I am not a referee. I will not be deciding who is right, and I will not spend sessions adjudicating events from last month. My focus is the pattern between you — because that is what actually changes things.
Both people need to feel fairly treated for this to work. If one partner leaves sessions feeling ganged up on, therapy stops being useful. I pay close attention to that balance and will name it if it slips.
Sessions are structured enough to interrupt escalation. If the same cycle starts in the room, that is genuinely useful — it means we can work with it live rather than on a secondhand report.
With bilingual couples, language is often part of the dynamic. Some things are easier to say in one language and harder to hear in another. Working across both, where that helps, is something I can do.
One boundary worth stating plainly: couples therapy is not appropriate where there is ongoing intimate-partner violence or coercive control. If that is present, I will talk with you about safer and more suitable options.
Approaches that may be drawn on
- Systemic and relational therapy
- Communication and conflict-repair skills
- Solution-Focused Therapy
Not every approach is used with every client. What we draw on depends on what you are working through and what you find useful — and we talk openly about whether it is helping.
Questions
About couples therapy.
More general questions about fees, insurance, scheduling and telehealth are answered on the FAQ page.
What if my partner is reluctant to come?
That is a very common starting point, and worth discussing at the consultation. Sometimes the reluctance is about a specific fear — being blamed, being asked to change, having a stranger judge the relationship — and naming it makes a first session possible.
Do you ever meet with each partner separately?
Occasionally, and if so I will be clear in advance about how that works and how information is handled, so no one is left wondering what was said. Most of the work happens with both of you present.
Can couples therapy help us decide whether to separate?
Yes. Not every couple is working toward staying together, and therapy can be a place to reach that decision clearly and, where children are involved, to think about how to separate with the least harm.
Does couples therapy work over telehealth?
It can work well, with one practical caveat: both partners need a private setting where you can speak freely. Being in the same room on one device is usually easier than two separate connections, though either can work depending on your circumstances.
Related
Other ways we might work together.
Family Therapy
Work with the family as a system — roles, loyalties, generational differences, and the conversations that have never quite been possible.
Bilingual Therapy
Therapy in the language your experience actually happened in — with a clinician who speaks both, so nothing has to be translated or explained twice.
Life Transitions
For the in-between — when the old version of your life has ended and the next one has not arrived yet, whether you chose the change or not.
Start with a short conversation.
A 15 minutes consultation costs nothing and commits you to nothing. We can talk about what has been going on and whether this is the right fit.
15 minutes, free, and no obligation to book a session afterward. Scheduling continues on Headway.
- Therapy in English & Spanish
- Telehealth across New York
- Response within two business days